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It’s no surprise to anyone that man and woman are wired differently, men are often thought of as the feeling less gender; while their female counterparts are believed to exhibit all the emotional traits not inherent with men. Part of the reasons men display this emotionless attribute is because when boys socialize, their ability to feel and display emotions, are systematically undermined. They are taught and encouraged not to cry, express their feelings in details, for too much emotional display is perceived as a sign of weakness, and the weak are always preyed on.
Men have been taught all their lives by their parents and the society to suppress their feelings, but the truth is that men do feel, and their emotions are strong; although, they are not experts at divulging these expressions due to a lifelong period of suppressions. But they know that in order to get the loving kindness they desire of the female counterparts later in life, they will need to express these lifelong suppressed emotions.
There are things your man wished you knew about his true emotional state:
I get lonely too
Most of the time when a guy feels sad and vulnerable, we convert these emotional urges into anger and pride, these are the socially acceptable sort of experience we guys understand; but deep down inside, we are hurt and need someone’s attention. In fact, in some cases, males tend to need attention more than the females. That is why boys naturally tend to be closer to their mothers than their fathers, because of the loving kindness and attention they receive from the mother, which matches the emotional needs at that point in time. Ladies need to know that men although grown, still need attention; when he has your undivided attention, then you will be able to fully understand his feelings, frustrations and then his unconditional love.
We shift our feelings to other areas
It is only safe for guys to express their emotions in places where these feelings are considered acceptable, look at how men act around sporting events; it is uncommon to see such passionate exuberance while watching a game, giving each other hugs, high –fives and of course great anger and tantrums – especially the Arsenal football club fans.
Sports like Soccer and basketball are considered macho sports, yet you see the players expressing their feelings during the game. You would see the players hugging themselves, playfully slapping each other on the butt; you will rarely see such level of openness from these same men when put in different contexts.
Easier thought than said
Part of the problem for men is that we have silenced our feelings for far too long that whenever we experience the sudden intense feelings, we do not have the right resources to handle them. So when they eventually express these feelings, it is usually unexpected and this can be overwhelming. Things always seem better when they are in your head, communicating them out is the real challenge; for this is a man’s typical experience.
But if you can observe him and truly understand his emotional needs and how he feels per time, and he knows you truly understand how he feels; he will become very open and free with you simply because he knows it is safe. Then you will experience the sportsmanship enthusiasm he feels when watching his favorite team plays for the rest of your relationship.
This is a guest post by Agbona Igwemoh, a freelance writer and tech enthusiast.
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