Everyone has some level of confidence. It is hard to see anyone who is totally without confidence and yet, each of us have moments when our confidence falters. Whether you are pursuing a career or building a business, you can only go so far without confidence and that is why it is important to keep building confidence in yourself and in your abilities each day.
Running an online lifestyle magazine, co-running a business and being a mother have all taken a toll on my confidence. There are days I wake up and wonder if I can do this. I think of where I want to be and look at how rough the road to getting there is, and my heart falters. Each day I wake up, I know that I need to keep building confidence so that I can face what lies ahead of me.
So in the almost 3 years that I’ve been running this magazine and the several years I’ve been a mother, here are 4 things I’ve learnt about building confidence.
Don’t doubt yourself
“Confidence is something you create within yourself by believing who you are.”
I think one of the problems most mothers struggle with is second-guessing their decisions. We take a decision and then start to wonder if we should have taken another one. This is normal, but not very productive. There are so many things you need to get done in a day and if you continuously doubt yourself, you will not only be wasting valuable time, you will also be chipping away at your confidence.
I know that I will make mistakes. I missed my daughter’s graduation from Nursery to Primary school because I got the information wrong. And that hurt. It really did. But I could not afford to dwell on it. After shedding a few tears, I promised myself that it would not happen again and I moved on.
Whether as a mother or in the office, I made a decision to eliminate self-doubt as much as I could. Whatever it is you want to do, you can do it. It might not turn out great, but nothing does all the time.
Push yourself beyond your comfort zone
“The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.” – Annonymous
It is easier and often safer to stay within the boundaries of your comfort zone. You have found what you can do well and you just stick with it…no use trying anything different. While this might seem more comfortable, the long term damage is not. In the workplace turning down new assignments just because it is something you have not done before is a great way to ease yourself out of a job. You have to push yourself out of your comfort zone.
Push the boundaries a little. Do something you have never tried. Try saying YES instead of NO to something new. It will help you in building confidence daily.
Own your actions
One of the marks of a confident person is the ability to take responsibility for their actions. This is not always easy especially as there might be negative repercussions. Owning my actions has helped me a lot in building confidence as a mother and a business person. I know my business intimately – what works and what does not.
Being a mother means that I sometimes make mistakes (okay, I make them a lot), but you see, when I take responsibility and I don’t blame anyone then I know how to move on from there. It helps me feel confident that I’m learning what works for each child and how to reach them.
=> Also read 6 Things You Can Do Now to Improve Your Confidence
Finally, no matter what happens, keep moving. Make sure you make progress every day, no matter how little. Don’t stop and wallow in what could have been or what you didn’t do right. In the same way, don’t sit and congratulate yourself about what you did right. That was yesterday’s news. What are you going to do right now, tomorrow, next week?
When you commit to moving forward – even if it is inch by inch – you are actually committing to building confidence.
So how do YOU build confidence in your life?