Child Favoritism: Toddler’s Corner

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From time immemorial, some mothers have been known to love and favor a particular child over the rest. This basically happens in families with two or more children. Most mothers will never admit that they have a favorite child.

Child favoritism is a term that describes how a parent or a mother tends to pay more attention to a particular child above another or others. Child favoritism can show in the way a mother talks about, acts around, talk to, and feel about the child in question.

Mothers show their new born babies or toddlers more attention than other kids, in some cases she even goes as far as neglecting her husband and not attending to his needs. We know having a new born is a wonderful experience but that does not mean you should stop caring about your others kids.

The degree of favoritism may be very glaring or obvious while in other cases it may not be so obvious. Mothers, these are some tell tale signs that you have a favorite child;

  • You feel more relaxed around your favorite child. You smile and laugh more around that particular child.
  • The favorite child gets away with things that you would ordinarily punish the others for.
  • You become apprehensive when confronted with the issue of favoritism.

These are just some of the signs that show that a mother has a favorite child. The effects of favoritism  can be long term or short depending on its identification and how or if it is resolved. Some of the effects are;

  • Sibling rivalry, the neglected child may blame his or her sibling for it.
  • Resentment, it may create ill will in the other kids towards the favorite child.
  • The other child or children may suffer from psychological trauma or low self esteem that may last them a lifetime or that they may carry into adulthood.
  • Struggles with issues of intimacy or trust.
  • Depression, it can be very hard for a child trying to gain the approval of their parents.
  • Unnecessary competition among siblings.

Mothers must learn to accept the fact that no two children are exactly the same and thus accept the uniqueness of each child. Love all of them equally and as much as possible avoid comparing the children. There must be a balance in order to avoid bitterness, envy and hatred directed at your toddler.

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