For the Men: What Makes You A Father?

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Tony Elumelu and daughters Naija Housewives

A few months ago, business mogul, Tony Elumelu shared this picture of himself and his beautiful daughters on Twitter. And it got us thinking.

Every child needs a father. Not every child is going to have a father and most will turn out well. But there is a reason why there are two parents (a father and a mother) and it is to help raise balanced children. However, we have a lot of men out there who are donating their sperms to create children, but are they really fathers? How can you tell if you are a father?

Dr. Dewayne Buckingham shared some really deep and salient points in an article What Makes You a Father? This was published on If you have a child or you plan to have one, you should go through the points he made. Read an excerpt below:

1. A man becomes a Father when he takes responsibility for raising his children.
Any man can create a child, but a Father will not forsake his child. A man becomes a Father when he not only clams his child, but also takes care of his child. Any man can donate sperm, but fathers nurture and raise their seed.

2. A man becomes a Father when he connects with his children.
Children, especially young boys need male role models with whom they can share their feelings with and learn from. Feeling connected is a basic human need. It is difficult to show affection when one does not feel connected. Fathers enjoy the time they spend with their children. They eat together, play together, and pray together.

JayZ, Beyonce and Blue Ivy
JayZ, Beyonce and Blue Ivy

3. A man becomes a Father when he learns to feed his children before he eats.
This fundamental lesson is critical to help young boys and girls understand the importance of engaging in selfless behavior. Young boys will also come to understand that they will be expected to provide as they journey into manhood. Young girls will come to understand the importance of giving their hearts to men who are family oriented.

4. A man becomes a Father when he leads by word and example.
A father understands that he must command wisely in order to be obeyed cheerfully. He realizes that he sets the tempo for his children. He strives to be optimistic, empathetic, resilient and inspirational. A man will demand respect, but a Father will demonstrate respect. A man will tell you how to live, but a Father will show you. A man will tell you what to do, but a Father will guide you.

5. A man becomes a Father when he demonstrates affection toward his children.
A father looks for the good in his children and openly acknowledges it when it is found. He celebrates their successes and communicates in a positive and nurturing manner. Hugs and kisses are given in addition to words of encouragement.

6. A man becomes a Father when he respects the mother of his children.
A father is committed to helping the mother of his children succeed and there is an attitude of “one for all, and all for one.” In short there is allegiance to the children and family life is a priority.

These are deep, deep stuff. It’s not enough to just get a woman pregnant. We need our men to be fathers! Share this with all the men you know.





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