Divorce is one of the most challenging and heart-breaking experiences a person can go through in their life. Feelings of anger, loneliness, confusion, jealousy and resentment are a hot pot of emotional distress that can lead us down a desperate and difficult road.
The end of a marriage means different things to all of us but the emotions that surface throughout the process can leave us all feeling fragile and broken. However, there are coping strategies and ways to look after ourselves in order to come out the other side feeling stronger, braver and ready to take on the next chapter of our lives.
Here is a list of ways we can learn to look after ourselves and each other throughout the difficult time of divorce.
First Things First
Let’s get the legal bit out of the way first. Hiring a good family lawyer is essential to ensure the process goes the way it should and that you are protected. By seeking proper legal counsel you can feel safe that you are being looked after properly which then enables you to focus on looking after yourself and processing your emotions.
Don’t be Afraid to Face your Pain
We can all feel defiant in the face of extreme pain and heartbreak. It’s easy to turn our back on our own emotion and want to bottle them up. Sometimes emotions are so painful and deep that we can’t bear to acknowledge them or deal with them so all we want to do is sweep them under the carpet and pretend they are not happening. However this is one of the most destructive things we can do to ourselves in times of emotional distress.
We need to deal with our emotions and confront our issues in order to truly move on. Processing the reality of the situation and working through what that means for you is an integral part of healing. So don’t be afraid of working through the pain of your divorce. Feeling that pain is part of your healing and without it you may not build the tools necessary to walk forward into your next chapter with strength, bravery and positivity.
Surround Yourself with Love
Another common coping mechanism is to want to hide away and close the door behind us, blocking out the support and love of others. This method of closing ourselves off from loved one can be incredibly destructive as we deny ourselves the therapy that comes with sharing our feelings, in turn making sense of them. By reaching out to those around us, we not only remind ourselves that we are loved and supported, but we also find an outlet to discuss our fears and pain. Through communicating our emotions with others we find understanding and finally release.
Be Good to Yourself
We can all lose ourselves in our marriages and relationships, so now is the time to work on yourself and spend time doing things purely for your well being and happiness. Finding new hobbies or interests will help you renew your self-confidence and help you meet new people. Take time each day to do something nice for yourself. This can be something as small as going for a walk, painting your nails, reading, yoga and meditation or simply just enjoying a quiet cup of tea.
Once you start doing lovely little things for yourself on a regular basis you will find the weight of your pain will start to lessen. You can begin moving into this new chapter of your life with confidence, bravery and happiness.
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