The early formative years of a child are the most crucial in the development of that child, the kind of things you say to him/she can bring out the best or the worst in that child later in life. You need to learn how to talk to your children. Kids want to be loved, cared for, encouraged, guided and respected; and here are some approaches kids would love their parents and/or guardians would love to take when talking or dealing with them.
Ask them open ended questions
Open-ended questions such as “I can see you worked really hard, How did you do?” encourages self-reflection, kids want to talk about their experiences, how hard they worked or played; how certain things makes them feel and what they think about someone or something. Instead of always talking about yourself, let them share their own stories and emotions.
Every kid wants to please their parents while also being loved by friends and other kinds; and in doing so, they will be faced with school work, sports and music classes where their performances will be gauged by parents who they want to impress. In their quest, they want the acknowledgement of their parents and words like “I know you can do it, or I know you can try harder” will go a long way as against words like “you are lazy” “can’t you do anything right? Sentences like this hurt the child which may dent their self-esteem in turn.
Kids always want to impress their parents; this makes them go the extra mile by working hard to get an A or cleaning their rooms or the house. And something as simple as “You worked so hard” will go a long way to encourage future hard work.
Children are naturally resilient, and encouraging them to be independent of an early age, ultimately prepare them to become responsible adults. Asking him or her questions as “what do you think? Encourages her to form her own opinions and share with an audience, this, in turn, improves the child’s critical thinking skills, while also reassuring them that it is okay to have an opinion that others may not agree with. And when they achieve little successes either in doing home chores or excelling in their academics questions like “how does that feel to do that on your own? Encouraging the child achievement and success is more about pleasing self than gaining approval from others.
And above all, telling your child that she is beautiful inside out helps her feel comfortable in her own skin. It is especially important for daughters to hear this from their fathers; it prevents the child to grow up looking for praises from boys.
Take the time to learn how to talk to your children in order to increase bonding and to get to know the truly beautiful souls that live inside your children.