So I was cruising the news sites this morning and an article by Punch News caught my attention, the title was Should a woman assist her fiance in paying the bride price? It got me thinking really. I remember as a young girl, one of my aunts was getting married and I overheard my mum saying disdainfully, “I’m sure she bought every single wrapa in that box.” She was speaking in reference to the mandatory box of expensive African fabric that the prospective groom is supposed to present to the bride’s family as a sign that he would keep her clothed once he married her. Even at that age, I knew that it was taboo for a woman to chip in when paying the bride price.
But times have changed.
These days we have women who don’t mind giving their men part or even all they need to pay the bride price as long as the men do the needful and marry them. I won’t go as far as to say the women are desperate…everyone knows where it pinches. But over the years, there’s one thing I’ve found out; a man who can’t (or won’t) pay your bride price or even contribute to it, would most likely not take care of you financially once you’re married.
There are exceptions though. I think that when it comes to marriage, a couple should go into it as partners – together. So if the woman can, she should talk to her people not to ask for ridiculously exorbitant amounts of money for the bride price; they should keep it reasonable so that the man can afford it. And if she can’t talk to them (if the issue is beyond her parents and is more of an extended family thing), then maybe she could assist him a little.
But really, what do you think? Is it okay for a woman to assist her prospective husband by paying part of all of her bride price? Share your thoughts.