Being Mom and Dad: Filling Daddy’s shoes

Being mom and dad: filling daddy’s shoes is a help source for wives that are raising kids mostly on their own due to dad being away for either work or study.

There are different categories of being apart; some are thousands of miles away and you may see them a few times in years, or those who are in another state and visit once a month. It is not easy for either group, as each parent has their function and it can be deeply felt and noticed if one function seems to be lacking.

Give them your time

Show your kids that they can count on both you and dad being there for them. Once you are home give them your undivided attention. Try and be the one to help them with their homework or to check what they have done. You should also have some family outings and game activities. Make every second you spend with them count.


Talk to Them

Let your kids know the reason their dad is away, and the kind of job he does. Explain to them that even though daddy is away he loves them and you are sure he misses them. Honesty is the best policy with your kids on this issue. Let them know how long before their dad can visit and that they can always talk to you about whatever they need or however they are feeling.

Create one on one time with daddy

Have a way that the kids can contact their dad by phone or skype at a set time every week. If your child has a phone let them have whatsapp to reach out to their dad whenever they wish. This helps them believe you when you tell them that their dad is coming back.

Keep the kids busy

Give the kids age appropriate chores. This works in two ways; taking a load off your shoulders and keeping them busy while teaching them responsibility. The kids can help in getting meals ready as well.

Discipline should be upheld

It is possible that you try not to scold or discipline, so the kids don’t feel bad and miss their dad more. This will be a mistake on your part as discipline is part of what daddy and mummy should do, and being dad and mom, the children need to know that nothing has changed.

Let them keep a journal 

This could be helpful to younger kids who are not at the age of having a phone yet. They can write everything they want daddy to know daily in the journal. This will make them feel they are talking to him, even though he is far away. When daddy comes home, he gets to read it.

Take care of YOU

You need to look after yourself to be better able to be mom and dad to your kids. Take time to rest and regroup. Pamper yourself once in a while to boost your energy.

You may really feel overwhelmed filling daddy’s shoes or being mom and dad, but, there is always a way about situations that come up and these will help you on the road to coping. The points here are not set in stone, so, you can talk with your kids as well and let them suggest ways of managing daddy’s absence.



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Ije Woko

Ijeamaka Woko is a minister with a love for writing and a passion for young people and the family as a whole. She is married and has 3 boys. A great love for words and reading are a strong driving force for her at this time.

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