We started this topic The Deep Yearnings of the Nigerian Wife last week, and in this second part we will be reaffirming things that are necessary to overcome those yearnings in side.
“I am Sufficient in Myself!”
The first part of the strategy is to be comfortable in and with yourself. No man (I mean that generically) should give you the feeling of either importance or inferiority. You are what you conceive yourself to be regardless of anyone. You are on this planet for a purpose, find it and work in it.
“I am his Help meet!”
In other words, he needs you! You must make yourself relevant in your home and marriage. I heard a lecture on startups and the person teaching said something like make sure you have a product that once they start using they know they can’t live without it. Be the one he knows he cannot live without.
Be the mummy, lover, wife, teacher, cook, housekeeper, accountant, nurse, game buddy; don all these hats and more and you are a gem of great worth. No straight thinking man would throw out or trample on a gem.
“I am a Woman and I am Allowed to Seduce him!”
When I think of being a woman I see power. You are endowed with great power as a woman, use it where he is concerned (there is nowhere else it is more appropriate). One of my favourite poems is Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou she lets us know the power given to us.
So many women once they get married let it all go. They do not care how they look, they focus on the kids forgetting there was something he saw and liked when he asked YOU to be the one.
All day! Every day! No crime in seducing your husband and keeping your love life spicy. For some of us this is crazy… Let me ask; who should seduce your husband? Should girls in the office or church or on the streets seduce him? That is our main problem there; you feel you do not need to, because you are his wife.
What do I mean by seduce him? I do not mean manipulate him but know that you have the power to keep your husband satisfied and wanting no one but you.
In your interactions with others be charming and intelligent; In the way you dress and carry yourself be graceful and classy; In the way you do things for him be humble and sweet. There is the perfect seduction.
“He wants me to Enjoy Sex!”
Quote me: Your husband wants you to enjoy sex! Ladies, the fact is men keep going out many times because the person out there shows she enjoys everything he does to her. Have I crossed the line? One thing I do not understand is so many of us “keep ourselves” for marriage and when we are finally married we still do not let go.
Once in a while, be the one to initiate sex or set the mood for it to happen. Most importantly enjoy it. The act of love making is a mystery and a great strengthening force in a relationship.
Start enjoying this marriage as it is meant to be enjoyed and be fulfilled!