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We have talked a lot about the importance of self worth on Naija Housewives so when we came across this Huffington Post article, 12 Ways to Revamp Your Self Worth, we knew it was just perfect. Knowing your worth is important because that is what you will pass on to your children. It will also affect the way you relate with your spouse. Take your time and read the points below. Number 12 was the biggest one for us…it is so true!
When you have spent significant time in any type of unhealthy emotional environment it is easy to lose track of your worth. If you were given too little, you may view yourself as not good enough. If you have been starving for the love you never received you may be extremely hard on yourself and insecure in conflictual situations because you fear being seen as wrong or being abandoned. You may spend too much energy trying to prove yourself to others.
Conversely, if you were given too much, you may overly depend upon other people to fill you up and make you happy and become angry and abandoning when the world doesn’t shift on its axis to give you what you want when you want it. When you have never been made to be responsible for sustaining your own well-being you become emotionally immature and demanding.
1. Change your self-talk. To increase your self-esteem improve the way you talk to yourself. Change the inner dialogue that you are not good enough or that you must prove your worth. When you feel this way it causes you to be inauthentic and to over-function.
Conversely, if you feel you are owed your worth and are only good enough if people are bending over backward for you, placating to your needs, constantly building you up you will suffer from the disappointment of unmet and unrealistic expectations causing you to become angry, demanding and to feel chronically empty.
Work on being good enough for yourself.
2. Find balance. If you notoriously put yourself second and are not getting your important needs met, start putting your needs first before meeting the needs of others. When you put yourself first you give yourself the sense of importance you so desperately seek to feel from others.
If, on the other hand, you expect others to put you first and expect them to do everything for you, you never learn to put others before yourself, and therefore, do not develop the all-important trait of empathy necessary for sustaining healthy bonds.
Find the balance between what you need to do for yourself and what you should realistically expect from others.
3. Know your worth. If your worth is dependent upon pleasing others you will come up empty. Nothing you do for others will be enough to make you feel valued and appreciated in the way you desire. Knowing your worth has to come from within. Your worth is determined by the treatment you accept or expect for yourself, not by how much of yourself you give away.
Conversely, when you expect others to constantly soothe you, build you up and make you feel like you exist you do not gain the skill of developing your own self-worth. You will measure your worth on how important others make you causing your sense of self to be fleeting and dependent upon people outside of you.
To know your worth take charge of your life and see how it feels to experience your own power.
4. Create your happiness. Happiness isn’t a given it is a creation. If happiness is not developed from within you will naturally start looking for happiness from outside sources. This makes you needy. Your neediness expectations will drain or push others away.
Trust that you deserve love and happiness. Figure out how to self-soothe, to make yourself happy and to enjoy your own company. When you do this you will attract friends and lovers to love you at the level you love yourself.
5. Be proud. Do things you are proud of. Take care of your outsides, dress nice, be nice, be calm, be loving, have boundaries, achieve all you can, be clean and be kind. Kindness will take further in life than any other human characteristic.
Walk tall. There is so much about you that is good, regardless of what you have been told. Choose to believe in who you are and be proud of that. Do not compare yourself to others, because like the snowflake you are not repeatable.
6. Work hard. Happiness is a byproduct of achieving and having a purpose. Hard work trumps genius, so let go of the idea you have to have a stellar IQ to be successful. The hard workers in life, void of entitlement, are the people who succeed at the highest levels.
There is nothing that can make you feel better about yourself then being committed in life, to your life, and to yourself through hard work. With hard work, success is a guarantee.
Success naturally brings self-love, self-respect, self-esteem, recognition and happiness.