There comes a point in a marriage where you have to acknowledge that things are not working out the way you’d hoped. The blissful days of optimism at the start of your union seem a long way away, and all that’s left is annoyance and irritation with one another. This is the gradual slope towards growing apart, but it’s not the only reason a marriage might be in trouble.
You might be struggling to cope with a fundamental disagreement, neither of you willing to back down or see the other side. Or you might be dealing with the aftermath of infidelity; decided to stay together, but still not sure how to quite put things back together.
The idea of a trial separation has a tendency to spook married couples. You’re trying to stay together, so why would being apart be a good thing? You can’t envision that you would want to be apart forever, and you think a trial separation is a one-way route to breaking up for good and having to consult ExBackExpertise.com to try and reunify you. Why would you risk a trial separation?
A Trial Separation Is Not A Breakup
It’s a chance to separate for awhile and let things simmer down. It can give you a chance to get rid of any resentment that has been building to gain time and perspective. You may individually conclude that it’s time to move on from the relationship, but that’s still something you should give the chance. Chances are if the idea of a trial separation frightens you, you know there’s a problem you might not be able to overcome. And if that’s the case, then what’s the point in dragging things out? All trial separations have risks, but they aren’t going to push you into something – they’re a chance to figure things out.
A Trial Separation Can Revitalize A Marriage
Rather than being a one-way route to the divorce courts, a trial separation can be a positive thing. You might think your marriage is doomed, then realize after a couple of weeks apart that your issues are smaller than you thought. Married couples rarely have a chance to miss one another and specifically remember why they are together – a separation lets you do that, and gives you the chance to see the good in your spouse. PsychologyToday.com agrees that all these factors can make you stronger together in the long run.
A Trial Separation Is About Playing By The Rules
The bonus here is that the rules are ones you make for yourselves. You can agree the limits of the separation, on issues such as how you’re going to manage joint finances and whether it’s okay to see other people. You can be as liberal as you want with these rules (such as totally separating and being able to date) or it can be restrictive, more focused on taking some time out from the marriage rather than seeking a new life. It’s all down to you, but you have to both set the rules and agree to abide by them. This is a good time to set a date for when you will discuss the end of the separation, and what you both want to do next.