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It’s the question everyone asks themselves from time to time. Where is the right one for me? Where’s the relationship that’s going to make up for the others and help complete you as a person? There’s no ‘true north’ when it comes to love and picking a soulmate. No GPS coordinates. Instead, you have to find your own way. What does that entail?
Self-love, first and foremost
Let’s get this out of the way. You do not need a partner to be a complete human being. Not having one, or having failed relationships, is not indicative of being some failure as a person. Practice mindfulness to become aware of how intrusive thoughts and negative behaviors creep into your life, acknowledge them and find ways to rid yourself of them. Show yourself some love before you think about giving it to others. Being shy as opposed to overly confident isn’t all that unattractive. But you have to find your belief in yourself at core.
Rely on your instinct
We’re not talking about the lust that can sometimes lead you in the wrong direction. Instead, think about the beliefs that build your expectations for the world. If you’re a spiritual person and you rely on things like astronomy from Astro Style, then let that guide you. If you believe in a Higher power like God, pray and ask for direction when choosing a soulmate. If you’re driven by strong political beliefs, then stick to them. Hold to your principals and instincts and get away from those who jar with them.
Don’t let your past chains hold you back
Everyone has some baggage. If you’ve lived at all, you’ve probably been hurt or experienced disappointment or loss. They can inform decisions, help you see risks you’ve been stung by before or conquer flaws that might have sabotaged you. However, if you can’t leave the past behind you, you can never be 100% committed in a relationship or even finding one. You need to forgive your mistakes, forget transgressions, and live in the now.
Use the law of attraction
It’s not a push-up bra. The law of attraction is about knowing what you want in a relationship. Do you want someone stable and warm? Then focus on that, make that way you actively look for and don’t let your attention be pulled from those desires when you’re dating or chatting with potential romantic partners. Live as if you’re looking for what you want. You’ll find it a lot easier to ignore distractions on the way and you will naturally attract the person who fits those wants.
Look for challenge in yourself, not a potential soulmate
As we said at the top, you don’t need someone to complete you. Nor should you look for that. If you want someone to take you to adventurous places, go to them yourself. If you want someone to motivate you to achieve more, then push yourself. Becoming someone else’s personal project is not the way to a fulfilling relationship. Challenge yourself and find a relationship that’s more about a match rather than a challenge.
So long as you’re just expecting a fulfilling relationship to be handed to you, you’re not going to find it. You have to work on yourself, work on how you how you look for love, and work on what you expect from relationships. You deserve a soulmate, but you might have to prove it, first.