Why I Stayed and The Lies He Told

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domestic abuse
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Domestic abuse is serious stuff and sadly, many Nigerian women have suffered (and are still suffering) from domestic abuse. The general trend is to wonder why victims of domestic abuse stay; it’s very easy for those who have never really experienced abuse to wonder, Why don’t they leave?

But this is a complex issue mired with several psychological and emotional factors. Some of these were shared in the Twitter hashtag #WhyIStayed. Reading the stories of women who courageously shared their experiences gave a totally different perspective to domestic abuse and what goes on in the minds of victims.

Here are a few Tweets that are absolutely heartbreaking:


There is so much more there and you really should read them for yourself. Just click on this link here  => #WhyIStayed


Some of these reasons sound familiar don’t they? Especially when they tell you that no one will ever want you if you leave? Well guess what? They are lies. All lies! If you are in an abusive relationship…where your husband beats you or hits you, sister, it’s time to start thinking about an alternative. Here are some good reasons why:

If you have children:

  • You don’t want them to grow up thinking that is all they deserve (studies show that people who grew up in an environment of abuse end up marrying into such a life.) Is this the kind of life you want for your daughter or son?


  • If he kills you (and make no mistake, he might one day), what is going to happen to your children? Don’t they deserve to have a mother?

Domestic violence is a cycle. Let it end with you; don’t pass it on to the next generation.

If you have no children (and even if you do):

  • The Bible (and most Holy Books) are totally 100% against domestic violence. There’s nowhere that a woman was beaten and was told to just “endure.” If you feel obliged to change him, then pray for him from a distance.


  • What will you tell God if the man eventually kills you? He gave you a life and brought you to earth for a purpose…have you fulfilled that purpose? It’s like seeing a truck coming and standing in front of it.

Naija Housewives is always in support of marriage. BUT we strongly believe that marriage is made up of two LIVING people.

Think about this today. And as you read that hashtag on Twitter, try and reach out to at least one woman today. Many times, domestic abuse is not always evident from looking at the victim.



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2 thoughts on “Why I Stayed and The Lies He Told

  • September 17, 2014 at 4:38 pm

    Wow, this is so sad. God help all the women who are still staying.

  • September 18, 2014 at 11:29 am

    I stayed because there I could not afford to raise 5 children on my own. I stayed because I had nowhere to go. I stayed because the society I lived in would have ostracized any woman who dared to leave her home. I stayed because he told me I would never see my children again. I stayed because he said he would spread lies about me. The children are all out of the house now and I’m a grandmother, yet I stay because I don’t have the energy to live. Hopefully I’ll die soon and rest from my troubles.


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