Come Along With Me… Honest Conversations on Marriage by Modupe Ehirim

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[media-credit id=1 align=”aligncenter” width=”640″][/media-credit]In the month that I got married, three other ladies I knew also got married. Within a year of our wedding ceremonies, three of us got pregnant, two of us delivered beautiful babies, whilst the third lost her pregnancy. In the second year of our marriages, three of us were pregnant again; the one who lost her first pregnancy was delivered of a beautiful baby. I lost my second pregnancy. The third friend gave birth to another beautiful baby and went into a coma. After being in coma for six months, she died. My friend and I went on over the next six years, to have three more babies each. In all this time, our fourth friend never once became pregnant. She did not become pregnant until my own eldest child was graduating from secondary school and she went on to have two children. This meant that when my own children were getting out of secondary school, she was just starting school runs.

Interesting isn’t it? Four young women setting out in marriage in the same month. If you asked each of us, we all had big dreams of that we were looking ahead to. Once the ceremonies were over, stuff that we could never have imagined or planned for, stuff that was outside of our control began to happen. This is the story of every young woman who has dared to say “I do” to a young man who she loves and admires. For some, like it was with me and my friends, it’s about child bearing. For others, it’s that, perhaps, the young man who was so romantic and loving before marriage turned out not to be so romantic. Yet, for others, marriage meant that they have had to give up big career dreams they had, cope with family relationships they had no skills for and many more challenging situations. With such different scenarios unfolding for women, where does a young woman starting out in marriage turn to for advice and counsel? How does she know that what worked for an older woman will work for her? Is she destined to figure her own way out and learn from her own mistakes?

Good questions. Thankfully, I can say boldly that young women and indeed older women too, do not have to figure their own way out and learn from their own mistakes. The truth is that we have people who in the last thirty, forty, fifty years have worked with various couples in their counselling practices. These people have worked with people in different stages of pre and post wedding relationships. They have studied these relationships and they have a lot to share with us in their books and articles. I have been married now for twenty nine years, and the principles I have learnt from such people have contributed in no small measure to the success so far, of my relationship with my husband.

I invite you to come along with me as I share with you the principles I learnt along the way and my experiences as I put them to use.

 

 

 

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