Should You Choose Your Engagement Ring?

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I miss the good ol’ days when wedding bands simply signified that you were betrothed. Now – as with everything related to appearance – there is an underlying competition. How big is the rock? Where was it purchased? How much was it purchased? It just takes the fairy out of the tale. I didn’t see Cinderella telling Prince Charming exactly how many carats she wanted her diamond to be – in fact, I don’t think little Ella expected to get hitched at all.



Engagement ring by Mark Broumand


The bling craze these days begs the question “If you had the choice, would you rather choose your engagement band?” I guess it depends on what part of the scale you fall – are you a romantic or are you practical? A romantic would expect to be surprised with exactly what she wants while a practical woman would know the only person who knows exactly what she wants is her so she would pick her ring. The latter kind of takes the romance out of it don’t you think?



Tiffany & Co


In an article by Vogue’s Danielle Gay “Choosing your own engagement ring: A for and against”, two Vogue staffers tell which side they fall on and why:


For: Remmy Ripon, Beauty editor

…Perhaps I had communicated this with my then-boyfriend now-husband, who proposed on an unassuming Sunday while we were on holiday in Italy (tick), but the real proof he knew me better than anyone came with the trio of modest silver bands he proposed with. Purchased from Etsy, he had them etched with the date, and the question asking for my hand in marriage. 

When he pulled them from a little blue bag (and not the Tiffany & Co. kind), I was admittedly taken aback. Was this the new trend? Why are there three? And though I’d rather not admit it, the words ‘where’s the diamond?’ did cross my mind. It was only after a few moments that he explained that he wanted us to choose a ‘proper one’ together, which would mean the joy would be spaced out over the coming months.

While choosing ones own engagement ring isn’t for everyone, it was the right choice for us. In fact, despite being together for eleven years at the time of the proposal we had never discussed the ring… So one Saturday we set off to the jewellers together to find a perfect ring. 

Which brings me to the downside of choosing your own engagement: you’re acutely aware of the price and you just can’t help but get practical and weigh up all of the other things that money could go towards (mortgage, holidays, sensible purchases etc)



Against: Dijana Savor, Senior Art Designer

My now fiancée Daniel proposed on our four year anniversary…Although he had organised a beautiful dinner at Noma, he proved he knows me better than anyone else by proposing beforehand. He knows I’m a very low key private person and wouldn’t have loved the attention from other diners. Instead, the proposal was perfectly us – it was a warm afternoon and so we decided to go for a quick swim before dinner to cool down in the summer heat. It was there, at Redleaf Pool, that he turned to me and asked me to marry him with a beautiful ring he’d chosen by himself.

The proposal was a complete surprise, and I think this was mostly because I hadn’t picked out my own ring. The fact Daniel had done this alone meant that I had no clue when a proposal might be coming, even though we had discussed getting married. This made it all the more special.

I never wanted an extravagant ring – I always joked with him that he could propose with a 20 cent ring from a vending machine and I would truly be happy. The fact that he chose the ring (and no, it wasn’t 20 cents), made it special to me because he selected it with my taste in mind. The beautiful single Tiffany set diamond is just the right amount of extravagant for me.

A surprise proposal worked for us because I don’t think I could have shopped for a ring after later on, if I was given a substitute ring. I would have fallen in love with the ring I was given in that moment, the ring that he chose for me, no matter what it was. 


What do you think? Would you choose your engagement ring?


To read the full article, visit Vogue Australia


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