In Reply to Marva Soogrim: 9 Daily Practices for New Moms

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I have been a new mum – 3 times in fact – and so I naturally gravitate towards any advice or tips that I think would help other new mums. I know from experience that there are daily practices for new moms, which can make this journey a bit less stressful. I didn’t have it easy and many times I felt as though I was being swallowed by waves of helplessness so I can easily relate when I hear other new mums talk about what they are going through.

Naturally when I saw the post by Marva Soogrim on 9 Daily Practices for New Moms, I knew I had to check it out. Anything that will help us along in this mummy journey and reduce the stress is something I definitely want to share. I don’t really know much about the author, but all I can say is that she must be living in a different reality from most new Mummies I know, and this is easy to see from her list. There were 9 daily practices, but let me share the ones that got me gasping in shock:

2) You Should Bring Calm to Your Chaos: My life’s work has been bringing “calm to the chaos” of parenting. Being calm is an important way to great parenting and to keeping your health intact. I have experienced that when children see their parents’ calm behavior, it invokes joyful ways of being.

I read this and all I could think was REALLY? No seriously…really? Bring calm to the chaos? We are talking about sleepless nights, screaming babies, teething babies, almost no time to take a shower and we are supposed to have calm behaviour? I am sorry, but I really do think that the person who wrote this might be slightly out of touch.

3) You Should Do a Soul Check: I encourage new moms to do a soul check. When she’s in need of some replenishment, I recommend that she journals her feelings. Or, put on some Pharrell and rock your ‘happy’ out.

4) You Should Replenish All Systems: Break the monotony as a new mom and get back to who you are. Enjoy the moments when you can to replenish and think about what is and what isn’t working. After you’ve had that moment alone, you’ll return to your family refreshed.

Do a soul check. Replenish all systems…what does that even mean? You barely have time to take a bath or eat a decent meal, what time does a new mum have to journal? In what reality? Most new mums I know do not have more than 5 seconds alone, thinking about what is and isn’t working and replenishing is just not an option at that moment. New parents are usually in Survival mode.

As someone who has been a new mum thrice, and has had to struggle for the most part on her own (with her spouse), I felt insulted by the article. However when all is said and done, there were some good tips there as well, stuff like entertaining your baby and connecting with your partner. Those are very important.