There will be times when you get upset with your children, but how you handle those times is what we will consider in this article. As parents we can say things to negatively affect and scar our kids permanently.
With my three boys, I find myself talking more as they get older, and I suspect many can identify with that. Parenting is a permanent job so let us make it one that all involved will benefit positively. Here are three things you should never do:
Firstly, do not compare your kids with anyone.
“When I was your age, my parents never had to scold me!” or “If it were Vivian, your sister, I wouldn’t have these issues!” They do not need their faults brandished in front of them… Comparing with a sibling is unreasonable and bound to bring strife between them if care is not taken.
Growing up, my mom did it once and my response caught her and stopped her dead in her tracks. I told her that since my brother cleaned better, he should be the only one doing the cleaning. Most kids won’t even say anything and the comparisons just fester and become serious problems in the future.
Each child is unique with their individual strengths and weaknesses, it is for us to identify these specialties and hone them.
Secondly, never make your child feel unwanted.
I have heard parents tell me that “It would have been better if I never had this child” on the other hand a few of us can testify to asking our kids to leave us alone or not disturb us.
It is a very hurtful thing to your kids. The home is the place children get their perception of this world and life be their guide. As people, especially mothers we need our ‘me’ time, but your child may need your help at the same time. Have a little patience with your kids and see how far that goes.
Thirdly, do not bring down your child.
The job we have as parents is a job of nurturing our children, in other words tending. My grandmother always spoke to her plants saying that, “tender words make everything grow”, how much so our children.
Things like “I do not understand what is wrong with your head?” and “Why can’t you think properly for once?” are not the nurturing words they need to hear. We forget that children are just that “children”, meaning, they will make mistakes along the way, our job is to teach them to get up from those mistakes and be all they can be.
All of us are on this journey of parenting and it is not one we have down to a science, as we move along we should always aim to be better and better at it.