As far back as 2011, I decided to register a health facility that will allow me to pursuit my dreams of impacting lives. The names I picked were based on the fact that I wanted something that I can diversify using the name. Finally, the name available from the CAC record was “Pinnacle Medical Services”. I never thought at any point in time to have a women and children center….but a facility that will cater for both the young and old.
Fast forward, by observation , which is a form of research, 8 out of 10 clients/patients I have encountered are WOMEN….hmmm
According to the millennium development goals, now millennium sustainable goals, women were described as the wives, mothers and carers. To the whole world, women are great at multitasking even when some researches have proved us wrong.
I have come across women who are struggling to keep and maintain their marriages;
- women who are dealing with children with special needs and their marriages are threatened;
- women who are the bread winners but still face domestic violence;
- women who have dropped their executive jobs just to maintain their sanity because of non progressive husbands that see nothing good in them;
- women who are been verbally and sexually abused to the extent they have lost their self worth, confidence and esteem;
- women that have been cursed and banished from their matrimonial homes the moment they became widows;
- women that are wearing trousers (pants) while their husbands are tying wrapper;
- women that have sacrificed their everything just to have good homes; women that have become deaf and dumb in order to have a peaceful home;
- women that have had to lie to family and friends a million times just to avoid been labeled as the bad wives;
- women that have received girlfriends on their matrimonial beds for the sake of peace;
- women that live like co-tenants with their husbands in their matrimonial homes just to avoid us calling them divorcees;
- women that have been denied executive positions in their organizations for the fact that they are not married or they are divorced;
- women that have to starve and become anorexic because their husbands demand they must be slim, aka lepa;
- women that have changed their religious faith in search of succor for their mental state;
- women that have abandoned their friends and family because of their possessive husbands;
- women that have regrets because their husbands refused to support their dreams;
- women that were the best in their graduating class but now full time housewives for the sake of their children and now regretting the sacrifice due to lack of self actualization;
- women who have to cater for themselves despite the wealth we think they live in;
- women who are struggling to take care of their aged parents, women who are saddled with the responsibility of taking care of their siblings;
- women and children that have been abandoned by their spouses for some side chicks;
- women that are faced with work sexual and verbal harassment and are stock in their due to limited options;
- women who are constantly talked down on and regarded as weaker sex just because they are WOMEN…..
I have met a woman who packed her exotic car in my office and went straight to my executive room…..her words and I quote, “Doc, as you can see I can stay in any executive hotel in town if I so desire, but I’m here because I know you will take care of my emotional state which the hotel don’t care about. We only had a meaningful discussion after 3 days on bed rest (not admission)….. And pls, you don’t wanna hear the story.
Another had told me if I allow her to walk away from my facility without treating her, then I leave her with no option than to commit suicide….. Leaving behind 3 lovely children.
You may wonder why I’m focused on the married women…..the single ladies aren’t left out of this saga. Some are dealing with issues of time is running out and I haven’t gotten myself a Mr. Right, others are forced to remain in some battled relationships because of societal pressure to marry, while some are visiting spiritual and herbal homes for their solution of getting married. A few visit us to get that emotional support because they are already depressed out of frustration from different broken relationships and parental pressure to give them grand children. In all of these, a few have vowed never to marry no matter the pressures, while some have settled for single motherhood.
These are just a few of my stories. I get constipated these days after hearing all these and I know I have to do something about it. …..
This I mean, an avenue to share my stories to my follow women (and the men for their support). Like the philosophers say, you don’t have to experience every thing in life, but you can learn from other people’s experiences. I have learnt a great deal from these stories. So, when you see me smiling even when you abuse me….you just have to be in my shoes or sit on the other side of the table and listen to these women.
I have cried and held hands with many of them despite the fact I’m a Shrink/Psychotherapist. Don’t forget I’m also human. It saddens me to know that some of these women will forever dwell in these emotional states till the very end because the society has made it so.
In the school of psychological medicine, its known that marriage is not a protective factor for women….but for procreation as ordained by God and to look responsible as proposed by humans, most women look forward to marriage…..an unscripted institution that you learn survival skills everyday.
I want to ask, is this what we thought will become of us when we grow up?…..I bet the answer from most of us is NO.
Dear God, protect and wrap your hands around all the struggling women and children out there. For their struggles are overwhelming and their options are limited. You directed us to go into the world and multiply, let our dreams come true with little or no crises/challenges. Dear God, some of these women don’t know they are dying slowly due to these problems, please help ease their worries and make them whole again.
Dear God, I know I can’t save the world, but I can impact one life at a time. I promise to do this with your prayers, support, encouragement and guidance. All these I ask in your Holy name…Ameen.
To all the WOMEN out there, don’t forget We are the …..
Dear God, with your permission and the support from my fellow women, I will be conducting a monthly seminar/get together to discuss issues relating to us. This will be a free to attend seminar every 3rd Saturday starting from this month
Date: Saturday, 19th September; 2015
Venue: 5, Gbangbala street, off Oba Elegushi street, Ikate. Lekki. (Landmark is the lekki 4th roundabout where we have the Conoil gas station).
There will be light refreshment.
Come with a sister.
I remain committed to your psychological and holistic well-being.
If interested in our seminars, pls send text to 08099731259